Life is a great mystery.  Of this, we can be certain.  We cannot explain or understand the “why” or “what” of its rhythms and flows.  Not long ago a heart patient came in for a follow-up visit.  I’ll call the man, Pete, but I’ve changed his name for this writing.  Pete had undergone previous cardiac bypass surgery five years earlier, and, in the last year, his bad cholesterol had doubled. The American Heart Association recommends reducing a person’s LDL cholesterol to 55mg/dl in people with heart disease.  His LDL now hovered at 120mg/dl and he had gained forty-five pounds.

As I reviewed his medical records, my initial opinion was of judgment.

“How could Pete have allowed this to happen?”

On multiple occasions, I reinforced the critical importance of keeping his LDL low. A part of me wanted to chastise him for falling off the wagon. But, when I plopped into my chair in front of him, I could see lines of depression coursing across his face.   Our conversation revealed that his twenty-five-year-old son had been killed in an auto accident just three months earlier, and then he lamented that his wife of forty years had passed away from breast cancer just six months before his son’s death.

What could I say to that?

Such overwhelming losses would cause anyone to gain weight. His depression was a natural response to such devastation. I feebly encouraged him that he would get through his tragedy.  But it was clear, he didn’t share my optimism.

Life as I said is a mystery.  How could life be so cruel? To be stripped of two of the most precious things in his life?

Over the last thirty-five years, I’ve had the opportunity to take care of tens of thousands of heart patients who have suffered incredible loss. What I have observed in difficulty and turmoil is that suffering cannot be understood. We’ll drive ourselves crazy trying to make sense of life’s calamities.

A great Sufi teacher writes in his book, Music of the Soul, that rather than asking “why” or “what” is the reason a bad thing has happened to us- it’s better to ask: “What is this misfortune trying to teach me?”  The first two questions will only lead to despondency if we can’t figure out why such a bad thing has happened to a good person.  But if we can elevate our inner discussion to look for the teaching that lies beneath the surface of suffering, it can be a seed for change.

Not long ago, I had a health scare of having malignant melanoma.  Luckily, it was caught early, and I was cured.  Yet, it made me reflect.  As I looked for the teaching behind the possible devastation, I realized that I needed to re-double my efforts in connecting to the Divine Source.  Over the next few months, I did indeed journey deeper towards my Lord. The illness was a “wakeup” call that I heeded.  In this way, it was a powerful seed for change.

In my upcoming book, “Inner Peace Now,” I discuss the importance of daily reflection in changing our lives and finding the seeds for change that are showered down upon us by this mystery we call life.

When difficulty befalls you.  Try your best to look deeper.  Go behind the negative pictures of the turmoil and look for the seeds of change that the All Loving is giving you.  If you do your life will go more smoothly.  You will be on the road to greater inner peace.

Much love,

Dr. Kirk Laman

The Wholehearted Cardiologist.